A lot has happened

3.07.2011

Things are better. I no longer think about Robert, probably because I haven't been to university for six weeks and therefore haven't seen him; I just hope this feeling stays the same. I don't want to like people who don't like me back. Although there has been new development in the boyfriend department (atleast I think so). It's a love triangle really... James, a friend from Newcastle whom I have never seen whilst I'm sober, asked me for my number my first night meeting him after I pecked him once on the lips to somehow "prove I'm a virgin". The details are blurry caused by the copious amounts of alcohol I had consumed. The problem is I have eyes for the guy who invites me to these outings in Newcatle, Ben, a computer nerd who knows how to have fun rather than staying serious about trying to "get in", but however I try to avoid James he keeps pursuing me. So, last night I tried my final attepmt at putting a stop to this but my plan backfired. I pleaded to Ben to ask James to back down because he reminded me of my (fake) horrible ex-botfriend. The plan seemed to work but then Ben preached that James is a good man who really likes me.... Damn. So the triangle works like this: James likes Me, I like Ben, and Ben just wants James to be happy. I hate this feeling...
How do I stop this? Preferably without having to tell the man of my dreams that I want him. Not his repulsive friend. Him alone, with me. Truth be told, I would ravage him if I had the chance. I'm just waiting.