26.06.2011

How am I supposed to find a man to lose my virginity to when none will ever give me the time of day because of the way I look. I loathe these emotions. The lust I feel when I see a man, any man. My lips slightly apart so I can draw a small breath, my legs itch with anticipation of the touch of his hand and the deriving source of my lust warms. I bite my lip to hide the feeling, I'm not sure it works.
Sarah informed me that she was going on a date with this one guy she thinks she has feelings for, Megan is single but pulls all kinds of men, Kayla hides every emotion from everyone and yet she has a boyfriend who adores her and Tiffany just chose a guy she has known for three weeks over her boyfriend. So what’s the one thing they all have in common? They’re all pretty, skinny girls – something I will never be. That is not a low self-esteem comment, it’s a fact. I’m just not built to be skinny. I talk it up but I know I'll never put the work in to lose weight. Fuck.
My weight: 87kg.
Goal weight: 65kg.
Time frame: Who cares, I'm doomed.